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Warning! This page is literally Cloudflare! Please enable JavaScript SACRIFICE YOUR NEWBORN

This page is the gem that saved the sharty

Cloudflare (also known as Crimeflare, Cuckflare and Clownflare) is an American botnet disguised as an affordable reverse-proxy and DDoS-mitigation service. Its business model consists of a campaign of intimidation wielding DDoS attacks against website administrators, against which, suspiciously, only Cloudflare's protection service is effective. The army of servers is kept well-fed by a steady stream of racket sales. Thus the botnet multipies, kind of like how homosexuals multiply.[1] They then transfer all user data to their leadership.

A website is also re-purposed to serve propaganda like "Verifying security..." and "Did you know every third person you meet is actually a botnet under a coat?" if the website owner resorts to those full-page Cloudflare captcha checks. The goal is to make it appear justified to deny access to most websites VPN and TOR users, objectors to Javascript and generally those who run a functioning web browser but don't conform to however way Cloudflare intends to track you, which puts in cause an openness principle of the World Wide Web, while you believe the connection protection is for your protection.

I vehemently hate nigger

The Man in the middle

Cloudflare-protected servers are instanced across a vast content-delivery-network, with visitors never interacting with the real server. The unencrypted contents of user's interaction are entirely handled by Cloudflare.

For a site to use cloudflare, the owner has to point their DNS records to cloudflare's servers, at which point they effectively handed cloudflare full control of their website (as long as the DNS records point to cloudflare's servers). ... However, this is not a Man-in-the-Middle attack, because the website owner gave cloudflare permission to do all of this. So it's not an attack, it's a secure connection to cloudflare (who the website owner gave permission to serve content at their domain name).

"dr jimbob" — Information Security Stack Exchange

This is functionally a man-in-the-middle attack, but it's passively accepted as a fact of using the internet at this point. From hosting your bank's website to, Crimeflare dominates the CDN market with an 80% share, essentially performing a man-in-the-middle-attack on all of the internet. Some have pointed out the colossal datamining potential of such a position, but the argument loses ground when verified fact-checkers revealed the proponents are dangerous, unmedicated conspiracy theorists. THIS WAS WRITTEN BY AGENTS OF THE NEW WORLD ORDER

See also


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