Five Nights at Cobson's
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|Release date||October 31st, 2023 (only the demo doe)|
|Booru posts||1 As of October 7th, 2023|
|Parody of||Five Nights at Freddy's|
Five Nights at Cobson's is an absolutely spine chilling genre defining bone tingling aryan slow burn terrifying jumpscare 'jak driven atmosphere oozing a24 released trope subverting dark and eerie gut wrenching aesthetically heavy craft gradual escalation soul shaking dread inducing post horror suspenseful build up a “say more with less” approach blood curdling kino keyed nerve wracking nail biting jaw clenching free of cheap gore kuz, soot, doll and froot approved snopes verified reuters verified ‘zellig free coal killing TND beginning cobson loving troon -ACKing fauci approved pro science truth uncovering jannie decimating glowie zapping vtuber chudding schizophrenic 4cuck killing shitter crashing discoal erasing ‘coinslot closing NAS free anti meds soylent free wholesome pupperino west rising heavenly holy sharty saving IAS gemerald horror game revolving around keeping numerous 'jaks contained at the mental asylum.
It is a clone of Five Nights at Freddy's that replaces the animatronics with soyjaks. Feraljak, Squirreljak, Impjak, Markiplier Soyjak, Fingerboy, and troonjak are in the game (in the demo). Doll is the phone guy. The game is currently being developed by Froot alongside several 'teens. According to chuddubs, the game has been completed but the release has been delayed because Froot is a tax evading kike and keeps getting cockblocked during Steam's tax info verification process, but the game should release before December THOUGH.
Early reviews indicate it's difficult but may be the gem that saved the sharty.
(((Removal by itch.io)))[edit | edit source]
Somebody call fuckin' Soyberg!
The following was likely written during a schizo episode.
Due to Froot updating the game 6 times in an hour, as well as the game being the account's first project, itch.io flagged the game as malware and shadowbanned the account with no warning, deleting the page and locking Froot out of his account. The game is not dead, and version 1 can be downloaded here if you trust whoever uploaded it. Froot made it so you can download it at https://soyjak.party/fnac.html. He says he will make the game paid and that it's the last free version.
In retaliation for this decision, 'teens promptly raided the official itch.io Discord to avenge their fallen gemerald.
Alternative theories[edit | edit source]
- In the stickied thread discussing rhe removal of FNAC from itch.io, Frogniggers promptly started to spam Demoralization Coal, leading some to believe that the Frogposters were involved with the deletion. It's been an observed phenomenon for frogniggers to snitch to streamers during Twitch Raids, meaning that this suspicion isn't unfounded. it was the 'cord actually
- Itch.io has in the past hosted Antifa Game Jams, so left-wing biases in moderation staff would be at least somewhat prevalent. Clearly some Janny was traumatized by the distasteful portrayal of a valid transfolk -ACK!ing xirself, and decided to delete the game to prevent other BIPOC folx from getting PTSD from this hateful content.
Gameplay and Tips[edit | edit source]
Day 1 Strategies:[edit | edit source]
General Strategy[edit | edit source]
Turn off your camera at the beginning of the game. Simply rely on the flashlight. Keep feeding squirreljak all the time. Flash impjak when you see him. Don't flash at chudjak after you see him but wait until he leaves (you will hear noise when he's in your room).
Jaks[edit | edit source]
There are several jaks roaming the facility at night among them:
Chud: When you see him on the hallway he will open your door despite it being closed. When he enters turn the light off and simply wait until he leaves.
Feraljak: Feraljak is sound asleep most of the time. He will however wake up during your shift if you make too much noise by closing doors and using your flashlight. Simply check on him every now and then when he makes seething noises click on the tablet (which can be only used once) to send him to sleep again.
Squirreljak: This nigga always needs his nuts. Be sure to feed him otherwise he will free Feraljak.
Impjak: Uses the air shafts to go to you, always check up on the left shaft and the cams. He also sometimes shows up in the front door and enters the office. Simply close the door or flash your light on him to stop him from attacking you.
plier: He will come into the facility at 2AM. To stop him also close the door or turn the light off. He will furthermore try to cut off your power supply; check the generator room cam and if plier is there, close the door in the generator room. You can also simply cut the lights until the end of dolls message to save power
Day 2 Strategies:[edit | edit source]
Fingerboy: When you hear his autistic screeches use your flashlight on the hallway/vent, then quickly close the door/vent if hes there.
Troon: When xe appears in your room simply spam your flashlight on and off.
Easter Eggs[edit | edit source]
- Cobson will jumpscare you if you type "hwnbag" on your keyboard, will break the game if you do it in the main menu
- Tranny will jumpscare (You) if (You) type "ywnbaw" on your keyboard on the 2nd night
- Thoughjak has a chance of appearing in the generator room instead of plier
- Pointing your mouse at the /calm/ poster and typing "calm" will trigger a relaxing cutscene
- Wholesome Soyjak has a low chance of appearing on cams.
- Typing "1488" on your numpad when you see chudjak will trigger an alternative chudjak game over scene
Screenshots[edit | edit source]
Links[edit | edit source]
- Full demo (so far): https://youtube.com/watch?v=3xh3G51Kaes
- Jumpscares: https://youtube.com/watch?v=BNvcDu3BEOc
References[edit | edit source]
- https://soyjak.party/fnac/thread/2041.html https://web.archive.org/web/20231122183722/https://soyjak.party/fnac/thread/2041.html (archive.ph)
- Decompile the Assembly-CSharp.dll and Say that line again!
- https://web.archive.org/web/20231122182018/https://archive.soyjak.in/soy/thread/5237537 (archive.ph)