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Five Nights at Cobson's

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THIS PAGE CONTAINS SPOILERS!

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FNAC
Release date October 31st, 2023 (only the demo doe)
soyjak.party board /fnac/
Booru posts 1 As of October 7th, 2023
Parody of Five Nights at Freddy's
Website demo full (steam)
Engine Unity
'em in the making

Five Nights at Cobson's is an absolutely spine chilling genre defining bone tingling aryan slow burn terrifying jumpscare 'jak driven atmosphere oozing a24 released trope subverting dark and eerie gut wrenching aesthetically heavy craft gradual escalation soul shaking dread inducing post horror suspenseful build up a “say more with less” approach blood curdling kino keyed nerve wracking nail biting jaw clenching free of cheap gore kuz, soot, doll and froot approved snopes verified reuters verified ‘zellig free coal killing TND beginning cobson loving troon -ACKing fauci approved pro science truth uncovering jannie decimating glowie zapping vtuber chudding schizophrenic 4cuck killing shitter crashing discoal erasing ‘coinslot closing NAS free anti meds soylent free wholesome pupperino west rising heavenly holy sharty saving IAS gemerald horror game revolving around keeping numerous 'jaks contained at the mental asylum.

It is a clone of Five Nights at Freddy's that replaces the animatronics with soyjaks. Feraljak, Squirreljak, Impjak, Markiplier Soyjak, Fingerboy, and troonjak are in the game (in the demo). Doll is the phone guy. The game is currently being developed by Froot alongside several 'teens[1]. According to chuddubs, the game has been completed but the release has been delayed because Froot is a tax evading kike and keeps getting cockblocked during Steam's tax info verification process, but the game should release before Februrary THOUGH.

Artist's depiction of the behind-the-scenes development of Five Nights at Cobson's.

Early reviews indicate it's difficult but may be the gem that saved the sharty.

Five Nights at Cobson's does NOT contain spyware/malware.[2] You WILL take your Meds, nigger.

(((Removal by itch.io)))

Due to Froot updating the game 6 times in an hour, as well as the game being the account's first project, itch.io flagged the game as malware and shadowbanned the account with no warning, deleting the page and locking Froot out of his account. The game is not dead, and version 1 can be downloaded here if you trust whoever uploaded it. Froot made it so you can download it at https://soyjak.party/fnac.html. He says he will make the game paid and that it's the last free version.[3]

In retaliation for this decision, 'teens promptly raided the official itch.io Discord to avenge their fallen gemerald.

Alternative theories

  • In the stickied thread discussing rhe removal of FNAC from itch.io, Frogniggers promptly started to spam Demoralization Coal, leading some to believe that the Frogposters were involved with the deletion. It's been an observed phenomenon for frogniggers to snitch to streamers during Twitch Raids, meaning that this suspicion isn't unfounded. it was the 'cord actually
  • Itch.io has in the past hosted Antifa Game Jams[4], so left-wing biases in moderation staff would be at least somewhat prevalent. Clearly some Janny was traumatized by the distasteful portrayal of a valid transfolk -ACK!ing xirself, and decided to delete the game to prevent other BIPOC folx from getting PTSD from this hateful content.

Issues With Steam

In January of 2024, Froot posted a thread[5] to /fnac/ complaining about Steam's hesitancy to greenlight FNAC. Steam's staff had issues with swastikas and the "licensed" soundtrack. The former was banned in Germany, so Froot had to blacklist the country from an uncensored release. The David Thoughie parody was mistaken as licensed music, blocking the greenlight, although Froot has disputed this objection. On top of this, Steam's response times are sluggish, taking several weeks between interactions. This has lead to frustration from both FNAC fans, and from Froot himself. Whether progress has been made, since then, is inconclusive. For these reasons, the official release seems to be stuck in Development Hell.

Leaked

FNACbros.. Is this really over?
FNACbros.. Is this really over?

In March 3th of 2024 at the Shemmy. One of the devs decide to leak all the assets files for the game.[6]

The reason:

  • 1. It would make Froot angry.
  • 2. Its 70% of the reason the game exists, so it's not unethical.

Gameplay and Tips

Day 1 Strategies:

General Strategy

Turn off your camera at the beginning of the game. Simply rely on the flashlight. Keep feeding squirreljak all the time. Flash impjak when you see him. Don't flash at chudjak after you see him but wait until he leaves (you will hear noise when he's in your room).

Jaks

There are several jaks roaming the facility at night among them:

Chud: When you see him on the hallway he will open your door despite it being closed. When he enters turn the light off and simply wait until he leaves.

Feraljak: Feraljak is sound asleep most of the time. He will however wake up during your shift if you make too much noise by closing doors and using your flashlight. Simply check on him every now and then when he makes seething noises click on the tablet (which can be only used once) to send him to sleep again.

Squirreljak: This nigga always needs his nuts. Be sure to feed him otherwise he will free Feraljak.

Impjak: Uses the air shafts to go to you, always check up on the left shaft and the cams. He also sometimes shows up in the front door and enters the office. Simply close the door or flash your light on him to stop him from attacking you.

plier: He will come into the facility at 2AM. To stop him also close the door or turn the light off. He will furthermore try to cut off your power supply; check the generator room cam and if plier is there, close the door in the generator room. You can also simply cut the lights until the end of dolls message to save power

Day 2 Strategies:

Fingerboy: When you hear his autistic screeches use your flashlight on the hallway/vent, then quickly close the door/vent if hes there.

Troon: When xe appears in your room simply spam your flashlight on and off.

the origin story
>give cake to the children or whatever
>i need to kill 8 year old children because i'm fazbaryan or something

Easter Eggs

Warning! The following may feature disinfo, psy-ops, or other infohazards created by the CIA. Proceed with caution.
  • Cobson will jumpscare you if you type "hwnbag" on your keyboard, will break the game if you do it in the main menu
  • Tranny will jumpscare (You) if (You) type "ywnbaw" on your keyboard on the 2nd night
  • Thoughjak has a chance of appearing in the generator room instead of plier
  • Pointing your mouse at the /calm/ poster and typing "calm" will trigger a relaxing cutscene
  • Wholesome Soyjak has a low chance of appearing on cams.
  • Typing "1488" on your numpad when you see chudjak will trigger an alternative chudjak game over scene





Five Nights at Cobson's Let's Players

Face of ultraden playing cobsons. notice his absolutely spine chilling terrifying face

The following are a list of JewTubers who have played Five Nights at Cobson's. You WILL show them support.

Ultraden

Although he's a filthy black baboon nigger from the deepest jungle, he singlehandly proves that PND may not be so bad after all. His gameplay is spinechilling and one of the gems that saved the party of '87.


*After inspection, our peer-reviewed studies have shown that Ultraden is not a soyteen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x4ZNeJUZ0xo`

Sadly he removed his Let's play and the video is simply a reupload.

Hunterrules0_o

hunterrules inhaling hrt and meds

I love this queen` but he made a JewTube video on it slandering the game(proof for this baseless claim?). It's confirmed he's a worthless tranny.

however xes admitted that xes never playing cobsons again and that froot refused to give xim a key

Make sure to ignore xhim and stop giving xhim more clout.

Mr L.

notice his shining gemerald smile. only a true king is worthy to be called the king of five nights at Cobsons

Quite possibly one of the most keyed teens on the site. Being an actual teen, and is considered the King of Five Nights at Cobson's. Also, quite possibly the most beautiful transman I've ever glanced on. (If she is biological woman I may just got a chance teens Im gonna use my W rizz alright?)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23YDadmMLVY

(Insert CIA Text) WeedCereal

Literal babyjak who made a video on the game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0JsFxT_7zjs&t=69s

Turkey Tom

The largest streamer we got to play the game so far as well as a fellow chud albeit he referred to 'jaks as (((wojaks))) in the first few minutes of the video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZRdxhflKJj8

Be aware that turkey tom makes jewtube slop

Screenshots

Links

References