Impish Soyak Ears
This article is about the variant. For the individual, see the Swede (Artist)
|Impish Soyak Ears|
|Earliest Known Appearance||/soy/, Soyjak.party (December 20, 2020)|
|Booru Posts||As of December 4th, 2023|
Impish Soyak[sic] Ears, also known as Impjak, The Swede, Swedish Win, Swedish Fail, and Swedejak, is a 'jak variant based on an edit of Guinness World Record Soyjak. He has a shrunken head, a large mouth, a nordic jawline, various other discrepancies that distinguish him as his own variant, and being based off the Imp zombie from Plants Vs Zombies. Impish Soyak Ears dropped to chaotic reception from the soyjak community, and it remains disputed whether it's a win or a fail. Despite often being used to portray Swedes, there is Quandrillion to infinite evidence that swedes actually look like this or say this. There's a common misconception that this soyjak is called "Impish soyjak ears" but this isn't the case, since The Swede named the original filename "Impish Soyak Ears", and he claims that his earred soyjaks are named soyaks rather than soyjaks.
He is the current mascot of soyjak.party.
Early Life[edit | edit source]
Once when Impish Soyak Ears was newly born, he ate all the black people in his village causing the negro race to go extinct in his hamlet. Once the other people in his village found out about what Impish had done, they eradicated him causing mass riots in his name. After the riots went better than expected the people started to chant "SWEDISH WIN!!" which made Impish Soyak Ears get a sense of joy.
Impish Soyak Ears played a key role in the labour movement in 1910s Spokane, Washington.
Impish Soyak Ears played a key role in being the Imp class in the 2016 Playstation Hits Best EA (Published, cuz popcap were the devs) game ever made, Plants Vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare 2, which also takes the throne for being the best shooter game
Career[edit | edit source]
He made his debut on December 20th, 2020, first on /soy/, and then three minutes later on /int/. At first he was an extremely controversial 'Jak, often being called a Swedish Fail, while other posters defended him, calling him a Swedish Win. He was favored by the mod team, who Stickied a GIF of him being petted. His release began a 4 month long build up of tensions between posters, which burst on April 29, 2021, culminating in the Soyvil War. During the war, Impish joined the side of Wholesome Soyjak due to the fact that the same people who were shitting on Wholesome Soyjak had been shitting on Impish for the last 4 months. Some Impish posters attempted to pledge themselves to neutrality due to an unwillingness to fight on the same side as Deformed Soyjak, but it seems that all Swedes were forcibly lumped in with Wholesome and Deformed due to their evolutionary relation. Their faction was later named "The Swedish", after Impjak.
On April 5th, 2021, he announced his first acting role as the lead character in Soyjak Party's first commerical webcomic, Impjak Adventure. When asked why he auditioned for the role, he told reporters that he "knew the material was gold". He later reprised his role as Impjak for both episodes of Impjak Adventure: The Animated Series, providing both voice and digital mo-cap.
Relationship with Norway[edit | edit source]
Norwegian posters have been uniformly outspoken in their opposition to Impish Soyak Ears due to his Swedish ancestry, and as such they generally consider him to be a "Swedish Fail". Norwegians also express serious doubts concerning the veracity of the "Swedish Win" infographic. Like most things in Scandinavia, these grievances are expressed via soyduel.
Posting any variation of Impish Soyak Ears is a criminal offence in the Kingdom of Norway.
Relationship with PopCap Games and Electronics Art[edit | edit source]
Sometime in mid to late 2013, Impjak applied to appear in the most anticipated game of the year being Plants Vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare (came out in 2014), they wanted to add him in the game although they couldnt for unknown reasons
A year later in 2014 after the release of GW1, PopCap contacted Impjak if he could appear in PvZ GW2, Impjak was excited with glee, hoping it wasnt gonna be like the last time he applied. There truly was enough room for him to appear in the game, even being one of the main playable mercenaries in game, being known as the Imp.
In 2016, PvZ GW2 came out featuring Impjak.
Then in 2019, it got kinda disappointing, cuz PvZ BFN was no GW3, it was shit, looked like shit, and was basically just troonerwatch but with PvZ characters, thats the last time Impjak worked with PopCap.
Relationship with Pennsylvania[edit | edit source]
On July 9th, 2021, Impish Soyak Ears accepeted an offer by the Pennsylvania Tourism Department to star in a series of poster advertisements. He later moved to Amish country in a failed attempt to recolonise the area for Sweden.
Controversies[edit | edit source]
On January 26, 2022, Impish Soyak Ears was implicated in the now-infamous dancing swede.mp4 video. Although he denied involvement, it's very likely that, in being a celebrity, he is a pedophile anyway.
Identifying Swedish Wins/Fails[edit | edit source]
The "Swedish Win" infographic.
The "Swedish Fail" infographic.
- https://web.archive.org/web/20201221235828/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/39371.html appears to be the earliest appearance of Impish Soyak Ears, three minutes before the /int/ post previously thought to be the first
- it was revealed to me in a dream
- https://web.archive.org/web/20210526010313/https://soyjak.party/soy//res/94435.html NOTE: Swede says December 20, 2021, but he seems to have made a typo, and must have meant 2020.
|Impish Soyak Ears is part of a series on|
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