Jarboy

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This page is a gem.


A Jarfeeder's rendition of what Jarboy might look like.

Jarboy is a novel, """hypothetical""" variant depicting a soyboy-faced jar.

Lore

The Jarboy prophecy was first sighted within a thread posted on January 6th, 2024[1], following the spam of a mysterious user merely referring to himself as "J." J had replied to almost every thread on the 'log with a filled or empty jar, with the text "filled" or "empty.” Notably, the text would be the opposite of the jar's content, as if the jar image was full, the post would have the text "empty. -J"

The January 6th thread went as followed, however, the thread in question was not archived[2]. The thread began with the following text:

so you wish to know... fill or empty? haha... you silly jarboy... you know what coming soon.
"J"


'Teens began asking J what was going on and what the thread meant, but J only had one reply:


"he is coming... then we will FEED... us jarfeeders... united... jarboy coming... he will come to us... may 5th 2024... great times ahead... i cannot tell further SORRY"[it just is, ok?]

Two new threads were made on January 10th. Only one was archived. [3]

The cult of Jarboy

The "jarboy" in question:

After the mysterious thread, subsets of soyteens began to identify themselves as Jarfeeders, waiting for the day J had said that Jarboy would come to us. Jarfeeders are similar to a religious group, waiting for the arrival of Jarboy, who will erase all nonbelievers, which they refer to as the Jarboyim. Some of their lingo includes:

  • Jarrer - A good Jarboy-related thread or post
  • Jardgement - The day of Jarboy's arrival
  • Cupsnakes - People who disobey or are against the Jarfeeders/Jarboy.
  • Chosenjars - Prophesiers of Jarfeedist religion. Currently, the only chosenjar is J, but it is belived by the Jarfeeders that more will come in the months leading to Jardgement.
  • Jarbomb - Similar to a trvthnvke, but exclusively about Jarboy and Jarfeedism. J's knowledge is thought by Jarfeeders to be the biggest Jarbomb that will ever happen, seconded only by the one on May 4th 2024.
  • Full - The Jarfeedist version of gem. Unlike Jarrer, the post doesn't have to be about Jarboy.
  • Empty - The same, but with coal instead.
  • Filling - Same as Bumping.
  • Spilling - Same as Saging.
  • IAJ - Is a jar.
  • NAJ - Not a jar.

Despite the beliefs of the Jarfeeders, it was unknown what exactly Jarboy was. Some thought it would Poopson, some thought it would be the gem that saved the sharty, some thought it would be something else entirely. Then, another thread was made by J, with proof of them being the true J, with a blurred picture of Jarboy attached.

Censorship

After a few hours, the original J thread was deleted for reasons unknown. After a 'jakker made a complaint over at /q/, Froot answered with a 'Cado and deleted his thread soon after. Jarfeedist threads would be deleted after a few minutes to an hour, and were often plagued with 'p spam by Cupsnakes.

'Feeders were forced to go into old forgotten threads and discuss their religion while saging, as to not catch the attention of the jannies. It is now believed that the jannies are alerted when the word "jar" is posted.

"The Kettlemen"

"Kettlecord"

The jannies are suspected of currently funding a group called the "Kettlemen", who derail and bloat Jarfeeder threads with kettledust and harass the present Jarfeeders, sometimes 'nishing them. Not much is currently known about the Kettlemen other than their name and their mission (to crack down on innocent Jarfeeders, frequently going on their way to commit evil acts of violence against Jarkind), as none of the members have been exposed or even referred by name once.

The existance of Kettlemen is disputed, though. Some claim the Kettlemen aren't real, and they're a tool of fear used against us by cupsnakes and jannies, and that anyone claiming that someone else is a kettleman is a cupsnake trying to divide Jarkind.[it just is, ok?]

Jargirl

A Jarfeeder's depiction of Jargirl, in the form of Jar-tan.

Some also claim of the existence of "jargirl". This has not been fact checked by Snopes, thougheverbeit.



Citations

  1. soyjak.party/soy/thread/5847916.html NOT ARCHIVED
  2. it was allegedly archived but the soyteen who archived it was a retard and forgot to link the archive
  3. that being archive.is/Uqb87
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