Sproke is a delicious soft drink made simply by mixing together Sprite and Coca-Cola, and it is enjoyed by many soyjaks around the world. It is unknown when it was first invented, but it was popularized by Dr. Sprokeberg as a treat to calm down patients suffering from schizophrenic delusions.
There have been reports that Sproke could worsen hallucinations in schizophrenics due to an unexplained chemical reaction between the two drinks, but these are not backed by peer-reviewed studies, and are likely pseudoscience. THE PREVIOUS TEXT IS PROPAGANDA. FORGET ABOUT IT IMMEDIATELY. YOU WILL PROCEED TO CONSUME THE SPROKE, AND YOU WILL NOT QUESTION IT.
Recipe[edit | edit source]
The official correct way to make Sproke, as confirmed by numerous peer-reviewed studies and independent fact checkers, is to mix the two components at a 1:1 Coke to Sprite ratio. Thoughever, in other parts of the world (particularly France), Different ratios, such as 60/40, may be preferred based on local tastes.
Variants[edit | edit source]
Sproke variants are usually identified by the ratio of letters from "Sprite" and "Coke" in the name of the variant. Some common variants are listed below, in order of Sprite content.
- Scoke: 20% Sprite, 80% Coke
- Soke: 25% Sprite, 75% Coke
- Spoke: 40% Sprite, 60% Coke
- Sproke: 50% Sprite, 50% Coke
- Sprike: 60% Sprite, 40% Coke (also known as a Parisian Sproke)
- Cite: 75% Sprite, 25% Coke
- Crite: 80% Sprite, 20% Coke
Sproke® Has No other Competitors besides Sperry®[edit | edit source]
Dr. Fapper (this has been debunked by independent fact checkers)[edit | edit source]
One very nassy and coally day, one soyteen posted a thread with the subject, "dubs decide what I'll do" Big Sproke's spies deemed this 'teen as schizo, for posting such an inane topic, and saw this as an opportunity to medicate him. Throughout the course of the thread, they kept suggesting "SPROKE" and won the specified repeating digits multiple times.
To everyone's disapproval, the OP couldn't deliver on the request. Instead, he perverted it. He
used his mother's sodas concocted a wicked "Dr. Fapper" Whether he drank this mixture is yet to be determined.(I did) What's known is that the OP though that Dr. Fapper was delicious and recommended it heartily to all soyteens. The last comments he typed in the thread are as follows, "MYMYYYYY HAAANBBNNDSDDS SARE TYUYTRNIMG POURPLEWEE" and "HHEHRELLPPPL MNEEEEEE" That was the last time he was ever heard from. I am OP, this did not happen, I am alive and well.
Dr Fapper is currently being investigated and tested to use as a neurotoxin. MEDS Many 'teens have sung Dr. Fapper's praises, but most Dr. Fapper fans have been killed or silenced by Big Sproke. This has led to Dr. Fapper's quasi-death on /soy/. I still recommend that you try it. Big Sproke will call me a shill, spammer, and discord, but they cannot take away Dr. Fapper's delicious flavor and refreshing taste. SILENCE SCHIZO Dr. Sprokenstein recommends that anyone talking about this "Dr. Fapper" gets reported to the proper authorities so they can be detained and get the proper treatment. If you suspect any plans of domestic terrorism from a "Dr. Fapper" extremist, please report them to the Department of Soyland Security. They will handle the situation with extreme prejudice and firepower.
Ongoing /qa/ shilling campaign[edit | edit source]
On various image boards such as 4chan's /qa/ and soyjak.party's /soy/, there is an ongoing coordinated spam effort perpetrated by (((Big Sproke))) employees to promote the deadly chemical cocktail that is Sproke.
Thus Sproke Zarathustra[edit | edit source]
List of Sproke merchants[edit | edit source]