/vp/ trolling tactics

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"All warfare is based on deception.
Hence, when we are able to attack, we must seem unable;
when using our forces, we must appear inactive;
when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away;
when far away, we must make him believe we are near."

~ Sun Tzu, The Art of War
Guaranteed replies.

« Main article: Internet Trolling Tactics

/vp/ - Pokémon is by far the easiest 4cuck board to disrupt, bait, troll, raid, and forcefully subject to all manner of novel and psychologically-damaging soyops. Much like the suppressed immune system of a terminally ill AIDS patient, the board is constantly beset on all fronts by a myriad of internal and external crises plaguing the catalog, making it a fertile playground for impish 'teens to do a little trolling. These crises include (but are not limited to):

  • Discord raiders: /vp/ is plagued by several Discord servers, which advertise themselves at the top of the page with self-serve ads and coordinate genwar threads amongst themselves. Their exact loyalties are enigmatic, and vary wildly depending on who is currenty accusing who of being a Discord poster, but it is a generally accepted fact that at least one of them shills in favor of Gen II and against Gen V.[it just is, ok?]
  • Genwarring: In the grim darkness of Last Thursday, there is only genwarring. "Genwarring" is the term describing the phenomenon in which the denizens of /vp/ nigh-constantly bicker amongst themselves about which generation of Pokémon is the most "based" and which is the most "cringe." Despite genwars being prohibited by a board-specific rule, one can expect roughly 25% of the catalog at any given moment to consist entirely of either thinly-veiled or flagrantly-obvious genwar threads. Due to the nature of genwarring, the specifics of the philosophy behind it are virtually unascertainable. All that can really be gleaned is that:
    • It's every genwarposter for themselves
    • Everyone else is Discord until proven otherwise (you can't prove otherwise)
  • Ineffective moderation: Even by 4cuck standards, the jannies on /vp/ are exceptionally lazy. More often than not, obvious bait, 'jaks, uncensored 'cado pics, and gore will stay up for an hour or more before getting pruned, and rule-breaking genwar, furry, and fetish threads will either quietly archive or reach the bumo and image limits.
  • Mental illness: The bright and colorful cartoon creatures inhabiting the Pokémon world and the games' straightforward rock-paper-scissors gameplay makes the Pokémon franchise notoriously attractive to neurodivergent people. 4cuck is also rampant with untreated mental illness. Guess what happens when you combine the two?
  • Pedophiles: /vp/ is full of pedophiles. Actual pedophiles. Whether they are there to groom and prey upon the largely underage userbase or to cope with their own arrested development is anyone's guess, but the fact remains that the "/vp/edo" problem is both inescapable and in desperate need of a solution.
  • Underage posters: Contrary to popular belief, the Pokémon franchise is primarily made for and marketed to children under the age of 18. Because of this, it is widely theorized by many armchair web analysts that /vp/ has the highest amount of underage posters per capita of any 4cuck board. As such (and in conjunction with other factors) the quality of the average /vp/ post is noticeably less than that of say, the average /lit/ or /sci/ post.

If the idea of making a bad situation worse at the expense of 'cuckers (and their jannies) sounds appealing to you, keep reading to learn about some helpful trolling tips and tricks.

General tips

"Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness.
Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness.
Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate."

~ Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"When does "newpokemon" start? What does "oldpokemon" mean? Whats the 5 best pokemon games? If pokemon XY Sun moon are the worse why are they the worst?"

All general 4cuck trolling tactics apply to /vp/ as well. Remember to not post from your home IP to make ban evading easier.
When in doubt, disagree with someone. /vp/ users viscerally detest differing opinions.

  • Post a soyjak or use soyteen lingo. Guaranteed rage.
  • Avatarfag, namefag, tripfag, and blogpost. Guaranteed rage.
  • Blame sharty raids on Discord. Claim false responsibility for Discord threads. Mask all troll posts on /vp/ in a thick layer of ambiguity until the sharty becomes an omnipresent ur-boogeyman blamed for anything and everything.
  • Don't get attached to anything, anyone, or any 'mon. Hold no loyalties to any ideology. Shill for games you hate. Shit on games you love. Become unknowable.
  • Post the 'slot.
  • Praise whatever the latest Pokémon games are (currently Scarlet & Violet) and defend Game Freak to your dying breath. Guaranteed rage.
    • Say that any problems in the latest games are Nintendo's fault due to rushing Game Freak for yearly releases.
    • Say that the switch to 3D Pokémon games was a good thing. Guaranteed rage.
      • Claim that the Switch 3D models are different from the 3DS models.
      • Claim that new textures = new models.
      • Claim that the 3D animations aren't recycled.
      • Claim that the new animations are better than the ones from Colosseum/XD/PBR because they're snappy and to the point.
    • Encourage other people to buy the latest Pokémon games. If they say they're not buying them, or that they're emulating them, call them broke and poor.
    • Defend Joe Merrick/Serebii (notorious paid shill) as much as possible. Say that his site is better than Bulbapedia and PokemonDB.
    • Praise the removal of the National Dex. Claim that the graphics and performance of the games are better than ever as a direct result, that nobody cares about the shitmons that got cut, that it doesn't even matter anyway, that you don't mind paying $15.99/year for Pokémon HOME because you're not broke, etcetera ad infinitum. Guaranteed rage.
    • Tell people that they're mindless CONSOOMers and "you'll buy it anyways."
    • TRVTHNUKE dexcels by saying that SWSH and SV have the most amount of Pokémon in them without transferring out of any mainline game.
    • Defend the removal of Set Mode by saying that nobody is forcing you to switch anyway.
  • Say that Pokémon GO is the best game because it has all the Pokémon.
  • Say that Pokémon aren't content.
  • Imply or claim that if a game sells well, it's better. Many of /vp/'s darlings (Crystal, Platinum, B2W2) were some of the lowest-selling games in the franchise's history, and many of their most-hated games broke sales records.
    • Post sales performance charts. Guaranteed rage.
    • Say that if you don't like SWSH/SV, you're a contrarian and that most people like them better than the other games because they sold more units. Also say that Game Freak will keep making games like them because they sold well.
  • Trash /vp/'s most beloved games (GSC, Emerald, Platinum, HGSS, and B2W2.) Guaranteed rage.
  • Praise the new designs and modern art style of newer Pokémon.
    • Praise James Turner and his work as a Pokémon designer. Say that more Westerners should be designing Pokémon.
    • Defend poorly-designed modern Pokémon by pointing out that it's based on a thing, so it's good.
    • Claim that calling humanoid designs (Incineroar, Rillaboom, Cinderace, etc.) "furbait" is just projecting your own fetishes onto benign cartoon characters. Guaranteed rage from furries-in-denial.
  • Say that Charizard is the coolest Pokémon.
  • Say that the word "contrarian" is meaningless and that only seething retards on damage control use it.
  • Say that Sinnoh was the first non-Japanese region because the Battle Zone is partially based on some islands that Russia lays territorial claim to. Guaranteed rage.
  • Say that Diamond & Pearl are better than Platinum.
  • Claim that the physical/special split ruined Pokémon.
  • Post slowed down game footage of Pokémon Battle Revolution.
  • Say that Pokémon started becoming woke in Gen V.
  • Claim that Mega Evolution was a bad thing and ruined most Pokémon who got it in Gen VI threads. Claim that it started nu-gen pandering to KANTOOOOOOOOOO. Point out that Charizard got two Mega Evolutions.
  • Claim that Z-Moves are a Yokai Watch knockoff and started the infantilization of the franchise in Gen VII threads.
  • Say that the death of /rpg/ - Retro Pokémon General was a good thing. Guaranteed rage.
  • Say that the anime was never good or is obviously made for little kids in /padt/- Pokémon Anime Discussion Thread. Guaranteed rage.
  • Go into a Showderp thread when there's no current tripfag posting battle links (known as champ) and claim that you're "champing" with a tripcode you'll use for exactly one post and never again. Repeat every six or so suggestions "recieved" to waste bump limit.
  • Defend the decisions of Smogon/Pokémon Showdown moderation. Praise every quickban and suspect test.
    • Say that Showderp dying is a good thing.
  • Be as anti-Smogon/Pokémon Showdown as possible, and be as pro-VGC as possible. Make sure to call Smogon a "fanfic meta."
    • Imply or outright state that it takes more skill and/or intelligence to play VGC than singles competitively.
  • Say that Digimon is better than Pokémon.
  • Say that Yu-Gi-Oh is better than Pokémon.
  • Say that Temtem is better than Pokémon.
  • Say that Yokai Watch is better than Pokémon.
  • Say that Fossil Fighters is better than Pokémon.
  • Say that Grand Theft Auto is better than Pokémon.
  • Say that Skyrim is better than Pokémon.
    • Say that Bethesda should develop Pokémon instead of Game Freak.
  • Say that Palworld is better than Pokémon.
  • Say that ROBLOX is better than Pokémon.
  • Drop this TRVTHNUKE: Pokémon is only made for elementary school-age kids. You are not the target audience. Game Freak will never listen to you. If you are still playing Pokémon, you are literally a manchild and need to grow up.
  • Tell /vp/ posters to play another game.
  • Post this image along with the text "/vp/ has gone insane".
  • Post fanart of pokémon being abused.
  • Make a thread where the OP image is a screenshot of a walkthrough/wiki’s information for any opposing team in a fangame/romhack that has pokemon with better movesets than shitty level up move only sets. Guaranteed rage from manchildren who think having to face opposing pokemon with actual movesets is fake difficulty smogon kaizo shit. For added lulz, post teams that are in practice very easy to beat if you’re not sorely neglecting all the options the game gives you.
  • Use the report function on shitflinging, schizophrenic outbursts, people whining about boogeymen who may or may not exist, genwarriors, and other coal posters, especially tripfags. Guaranteed rage.
  • Claim that Pixelmon is better than Cobblemon, and vice versa. This works best in the spring/summer when /vp/ixelmon threads are being made.
  • Claim that generation 6 is the best generation due to the absolute gem that is Carbink.
  • Do anything. Guaranteed rage.
  • When you're ready, use advanced trolling techniques.

Fun buzzwords

  • boogeyman
  • Bros.. you told me X...
  • cachinnate
  • [citation needed]
  • dextranny/dextrannies/dextroon/dextroons
  • dexcel(s)
  • dexchud(s)
  • dexcord / dexcorder(s)
  • dextard(s)
  • Discordtranny/Discordtrannies
  • disinformation
  • falseflagger
  • fanfic meta
  • Johtoddler
  • Johtranny / Johtroon
  • Johturd
  • Kaloschizo
  • manchildren
  • mindbroken
  • "newpokemon"
  • objectively
  • OH NO NO NO
  • "oldpokemon"
  • pissbabies
  • pissbr (referring to PBR/Pokemon Battle Revolution)
  • pokéturd
  • refute
  • rent free
  • SHITnova
  • small indie company
  • smogcuck(s)
  • smoggie(s)
  • Smogoncord
  • Smogontranny
  • Stallgon
  • "(X)cord woke up"
  • "(X)sisters... we got too cocky"
  • Unovabortion(s)/borts
  • VGCuck
  • *yawn*

Genwarring tips

General tips

  • Claim that "old games bad, new games good" in earlier generation (I/II/III/IV) threads.
    • Claim that the remakes of games are better than the originals in threads where the original games are being discussed.
  • Claim that "new games bad, old games good" in later generation (VI/VII/VIII/IX) threads.
    • Claim that the original games are better than the remakes in threads where the remakes are being discussed.
    • Accuse anyone who likes any generation of being from Discord.

Coomer thread tips

  • Be anti-coomer in coomer threads. Guaranteed rage.
  • Kinkshame people in fetish threads (unless they get off on it). Samefagging disgusted reaction images in the vein of 4cuck screencap posts works wonders in swaying the hivemind's opinion against a poster.
  • Report furries for being furries.
  • Call people who masturbate to humanoid Pokémon like Gardevoir furries.
  • Go to Danbooru, download high-res pictures, and insert stealthjaks into them. Post these stealthjaks in popular threads so unsuspecting 'cuckers save and repost them, or hijack a general that's about to die and use it as the OP image. Remember: the best stealthjak is one that stays hidden until you're ready to reveal its presence.
  • Say that the age of consent in all first-world countries is 18.
    • Say that the age of consent should be raised to 21.
  • Call anyone who thirstposts about Pokégirls a porn-addicted tranny, and tell them that they will never be real women.
  • Call anyone who likes the little girls a pedophile.
  • Call anyone who likes the adults a hag fucker.
  • Post 3DPD cosplayers in Pokégirl threads. /vp/edos hate real women almost as much as they hate Pokémon games, which is saying something.
  • Post AI-generated art in Pokégirl threads. The more obvious it is, the better.
  • Just post complete bullshit all the time. Start a soyduel. Turn it into a goofy ahh skibidi Ohio thread. Go NUTS.

/vp/ixelmon trolling

Every spring, posters on /vp/ will start making threads hyping up a Minecraft server hosted by users on the board, called /vp/ixelmon. Given the autistic nature of both the Pokemon and Minecraft fanbases, there's bound to be lots of trolling potential where the two overlap.

Maybe this section, or at least parts of it, could be moved into an article on Minecraft trolling/raiding.

Thread trolling

  • Start arguments about Cobblemon being a better mod than Pixelmon, and vice versa. Like with Genwar trolling, you should always switch which side you support and which side you demonize.
  • Beg for mods to be included that will never actually be used.
  • Beg for mods to be included that have griefing/lag machine potential. Bonus points if it’s a mod with legitimate uses that the server will be hyped up for, only to realize that the jannies have neutered it because of possible trolling, resulting in the final mod configuration making the mod's remaining features pointless/redundant.
  • Falseflag as a cobblefag claiming that Neo Niggasaki was amazingly built and a shining example of architecture and that the Cobblekangs did nothing wrong.
  • Namefag as any of the following: Noble, Roo, Fetus, or other people who namefag in the threads
  • Start genwars involving different years' servers, or "gens".
  • Claim that Pig was the greatest admin ever.

In-game trolling (WIP)

  • Build massive structures out of only cobblestone, or another abundant, ugly block. Pave over the surrounding terrain with this same block, especially if it's a biome that only has one instance of it on the map.
    • Lavacasts are a quick and hideous way to ruin player-built structures by burying them under a mountain of cobblestone in the span of a few minutes. Not recommended unless you have a VPN and several alts because this will get you banned very quickly the moment someone steps into the area, unless it’s a hermit/solofag base that no one will miss.
  • Stripmine entire biomes.
  • Build commieblocks near other players' builds.
  • If the server doesn't have chest protection, sneak into bases and steal items from unlocked chests. Try using hoppers placed underneath chests if it's possible.
  • Mine ores at other players' bases, and steal their mineral wealth.
  • Drop garbage into other players' hoppers, especially the janitor feedback room hopper. Wooden shovels are an excellent choice because you can craft 2 inventory slots worth of them with 1 log block (2 planks into sticks, 4 sticks and 2 planks into shovels), so a full inventory of junk would only need 18 logs. Carry a stack of 54 logs in your offhand and use a nearby crafting table to get 4x the shovels inserted per trip compared to pre-crafting them.
    • Alternate method: If there's a crafting table nearby, just have a large amount of sticks and planks already in your inventory (about 8-9 stacks combined), craft enough shovels to fill up your inventory, dump them in, then go back to the crafting table, and repeat.
  • Scam people during trades by giving them pokemon with lower IVs than what you advertised, and/or detrimental natures so the sucker will have to waste time and/or money on using a mint to fix it.
  • Sneak in advertisements for the Sharty, and build large pixel art gems where people will see them.
  • If the server allows cracked accounts to join, snitch to Mojang so the server owner gets slapped with a C&D. The Usage Guidelines state that server access "must only be granted to users who have a genuine paid-for version of Minecraft".
    • If the server doesn't allow cracked accounts to join (4chan servers generally do), constantly bitch and moan about it in the threads until they relent. Then snitch.
  • Enter tournaments and try to sneak in stuff you’re not supposed to use under tournament rules (the keyword is sneak; stick to species & forms that aren’t banned only) and wreak havoc with evasion sets or actually competitive movesets in battle factory/showderp rental mon-based tournaments (or anything else that mandates gimped movesets) even though such a thing probably won’t happen after the origin pulse boltbeam DICKS incident.
    • Alternatively, just bring hardcore stall teams, and/or use Smogon's lengthy list of bans & clauses as a checklist.
  • For slowburnGODS, claim a popular/strong type as a gym leader and either use an obnoxious to fight team, try to minimize the windows in which you can be challenged without jannies trying to demote you, or do both.
    • Don’t forget the obnoxious gym puzzle and publicly shaming people who call you out on your trolling, and/or anyone who tries to cheese your bullshit team.
  • Crash the economy by setting up macros to produce lots of high demand items before selling them.
  • Price gouge high demand low supply items like actually useful mints, EV training power items, master balls, parts for special OP stronger-than-netherite tools, legendary pokemon, etc.
  • Use image signs to display shock images/fetish porn that’s disgusting even by imageboard standards, and make them as large and easily seen as possible.
  • Join a group working on a project and discreetly steal supplies to either pocket for personal use, sell to outsiders, or give to a fellow chud/your alt to sell back to the original owners at a high markup.
  • Randomly accuse people of being in the “clique”.
  • Start a group of fellow like minded soyteens and work together to use these methods to annoy people over the duration of the server’s lifespan.
  • If the server has instanced loot chests for each player, destroy the blocks to render them permanently unusable by people who haven’t claimed them yet.
  • Sneakily steal items from other players, fence them to a fellow chud (or an alt), and sell them, possibly even to the person who you stole it from (don't go out of your way to do that or you'll appear suspicious)

Just remember that the tranny jannies will have plugins to trace block placement/removal, so be careful with any form of trolling that requires block placement/removal, especially when performing non-subtle forms of vandalism.

Advanced techniques

Boomerfagging

The Boomerfag is a mythical faerie-creature thought to roam the bowels of /vp/ in pursuit of trolling the everloving fuck out of genwar posters.

Here is a MS Paint schizographic someone made describing the textbook characteristics of the Boomerfag. If you wish to carry on the torch of the Boomerfag, simply do as it says:

Vorefag trolling tactics

>STOP CALLING ME SHAUN YOU FREA-ACK!
What Shaun looks like when he spot a Cynthia thread
Dare I say it, /ourgirl/?

The vorefag (powerword: Shaun, IP: 66.135.96.84) AKA /vp/'s Lee Goldson is a dangerously unhinged schizo/avatarfag/pseudo-namefag that derails every Cynthia thread (and occasionally threads that have nothing to do with her) by spamming a guro comic of Cynthia getting vored by a Team Plasma Grunt's Seviper. Preliminary soyentific research suggested that LARPing as the vorefag and trolling Cynthia threads was one of the most efficient way of mining sodium-rich gems from /vp/. However, this was swiftly debunked by Snopes once it became apparent that provoking Shaun into writing paragraphs-long, Goldson-esque death threats directed against anyone who had wronged him was actually way funnier. Feel free to do this when you see the opportunity because pretty much every thread this schizo invades is going to be FUBAR anyways because as stated countless times on this page, /vp/ moderation might as well not exist.


If you see Shaun while raiding /vp/, remind him that he:

>got expelled from NYU for stalking and harassing a female hapa classmate that vaguely resembled Cynthia
>got a formal warning at work fired from his job for posting uncensored vore art on 4cuck from his work computer
>got evicted from his apartment
>got permabanned from his favorite vore artist's Discord
>got his favorite vore comic DMCA'd by Nintendo
>got banned from ever flying with United Airlines because he harrased a person he was sitting close by because that person called him out for watching disgusting vore videos and making creepy sounds. That person told the flight attendants in the flight and he got kicked out of the plane for doing this in public

for guaranteed rage.

Other good tactics for baiting Shaun into a nuclear meltdown include:

>calling him by his real name
>calling him a welfare queen
>soyquoting him with the hanging Aldithjak at any opportunity
>replying to him with the Cynthia picture to the right
>replying to him with pictures of wild boars from Google Images and telling him to ride his boar, Angie

You can also make a section of this article calling out his degeneracy, which was added to this section because it actually fucking worked

Vorefag chimpout compilation

This gallery is incomplete. You WILL help expand it.

As with the Boomerfag schizographic, just read and learn.

Yawnfagging

Yawnfagging is when you make a meme in a paint/drawing program with two soyjaks that portrays /vp/ as hypocrites. It was named after some guy named yawnfag that used to post these images, but now it's more or less just 'teens or something.

Yawnfag gallery

Expert Techniques

Cowfagging

A very tricky method. he uses a Trick PNG which enlarged, switches to the Nigger Cow, or just Stealthjakking with cows. Actually, he was a GNUSchizo at that moment and if you see him, stalk on him with the following (For context, this faggot labelled "Pokemon" As a swear word):

YOU DESERVE THIS NOW or something's not RIGHT, GO FUCK YOUR P******, THE MOST HATED CREATURE EVER!!!

Copypasta repository

"Supreme excellence consists of breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."

Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Why put effort into making an elaborate baitpost when you can just copy and paste 2,000 characters worth of tried-and-true wordswordswords and rake in the (You)s anyways?

If that sounds like a good plan to you, then keep reading.

You can also use these to rake in (You)s while doing other things, like typing out bait to post in other threads. Just throw some copypastas around and come back after you’re done with your baitcrafting.

average appletun plushie enjoyer

>C’MON HONEY PUSH! PUSH! YOU CAN DO THIS! I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE SCREAMING LIKE A NEWLY EVOLVED CHARIZARD!
>C’MON SHINY LITTLE YAKUB! YES! YES! I CAN SEE IT! IT’S, IT’S
>...
>what
>What?
>WHAT THE LE ACTUAL FUCK!?
>*Smashes Nintendo Switch OLED™ running Pokémon™ SV against floor in fit of anger*
>THIS IS A WH*TE BABY! WHAT THE FUCK! YOU BITCH! YOU LYING FUCKING CUNT THIS IS A WH*TE BABY WHAT THE FUCK HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE YOU WERE ONLY SUPPOSED TO SLEEP WITH TYRONE!!!
>YOU SCOOPED UP SOME OF MY CUM DROPS?! BECAUSE YOU WANTED A CHILD WITH THE MAN YOU LOVE? YOU TREACHEROUS NAZI ALT RIGHT INCEL CUNT!!!! I KNEW I SHOULD OF GOTTEN THAT VASECTOMY AT THE ANTINATDEX BOOTH AT THE VAUSH CONVENTION!!! I THOUGHT IT WAS SUSPICIOUS THAT YOU ARGUED AGAINST IT BUT I FIGURED IT WAS FINE BECAUSE I NEVER HAD SEX WITH YOU!!! I NEVER THOUGHT YOU’D STAB ME IN THE BACK LIKE THIS!!!
>WHAT DID I TELL YOU LAST YEAR AT THE APPLETUN PLUSHIES CONVENTION? I'M THE MOD OF HECKING /r/antinatalism! HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO BE THE REVOLUTIONARY VANGUARD IF MY INCEL REACTIONARY CUNT WIFE POPPED A FUCKING LAUGHING BOUNCING MATTE WHITOID CHUD NAZI INCEL BABY OUT OF HER CUNT!
>OH MY SCIENCE, I’M RUINED!!! YOU’VE RUINED ME YOU STUPID TWAT!!! MY WIFE GAVE BIRTH TO A WH*TE BABY!!! AND A BOY TOO!!! IF IT WAS A WH*TE GIRL I COULD AT LEAST LOOK FORWARD TO GIVING HER UP TO TYRONE ONCE SHE STARTED MENSTRUATING BUT I CANT DO THAT WITH A WH*TE BOY NOW CAN I? IM GONNA BE THE LAUGHINGSTOCK OF THE KEKOLD COMMUNITY NOW!!! THEY GONNA THINK I'M A FUCKING NAZI RETHUGLICAN NOW!!! THIS IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!
>GIVE ME THAT NAZI WH*TE BABY RIGHT NOW IM GONNA BREAK ITS FUCKING NECK!!!! I’M GONNA SMASH THAT WH*TE FUCKING BABYS FUCKING SKULL UNDERNEATH MY LET'S GO PIKACHU AND EEVEE LIMITED EDITION FLIPFLOPS!!!! GIVE IT TO ME YOU LYING NAZI CUNT OR ILL CUT YOU A NEW HOLE IN YOUR FUCKING THROAT!!! GIVE IT TO ME YOU BITCH GIVE IT GIVE IT GIVE IT! IN THE NAME OF TOBY FOX I'M GOING TO FUCKING KILL IT!

TYRONE LET ME INTO THE BATHROOM

>*BANG BANG BANG BANG*
>TYRONE, LET ME INTO THE BEDROOM, I NEED TO TELL YOU ABOUT BLACK AND WHITE 2 ITS SO HECKING COOL, THE MAKERS ARE EVEN LEFTIRNO POG LORDS LIKE ME WHO TOOK THE KNEE FOR MR SAINT FLOYD (MAY YAKUB REST HIS SOUL)....
>TYRONE, IS THAT A FUCKING CROSS? A-ARE YOU A CHRI... CHRI... XTIAN TYRONE???
>TYRONE YOU SHOULD FUCKING KNOW BY NOW THAT CHRISTIANS ARE INTOLERANT CAPITALISTS PIECES OF SHIT TYRONE, WE NEED TO KILL THEM ALL. THEY'RE UPHOLDING THE REPRESSION OF THE PROLETARIAT AND FIGHT AGAINST COMMUNISM AND SOCIALISM MEANING THEY ARE NUMBER ONE ENEMY TYRONE. HAVEN'T YOU LEARNED ANYTHING ABOUT THIS?
>I CAN'T BELIEVE I PUT ON POKEMON BLACK AND WHITE AND ALSO LET YOU FUCK MY WIFE WHEN ALL THIS TIME YOU'VE BEEN A CHRISTIAN
>I HAVE A CuCK FRIEND IN GERMANY WHOSE BULL IS A MUSLIM TYRONE. A FUCKING MUSLIM! HE'S SO TOLERANT AND COOL FOR HAVING A MUSLIM BULL! IF I TELL HIM MY BULL IS A CHRISTIAN I'LL BE THE LAUGHING STOCK OF CuCKS TYRONE! A FUCKING JOKE! IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT TYRONE?
>IT'S NOT ENOUGH THAT YOU LIKE SHITTING ON JOE MERRICK ON TWITTER AND BEING ANTIDEXCUT, IS IT TYRONE? YOU HAVE TO HUMILIATE ME EVEN FURHTER! TYRONE, YOU FUCKING NIGGER!
>I'M THE LAUGHING STOCK OF CuCKS, TYRONE! I'M THE LAUGHING STOCK OF CuCKS BECAUSE OF YOU! HOW CAN I HAVE ANY SELF RESPECT? HUH? TELL ME WHAT SHOULD I DO TYRONE? PLEASE HECKIN TELL MEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY DIVERSITY I HECKING LOVE URETHRAL VORE

>OH MY DIVERSITY I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT ME AN PRIVILEGED EVIL WH*TE M*LE HAS BEEN GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO BE URETHRALLY VORED BY MY BBC BLACK BULL MASTER WHILE MY INCEL NAZI CHUD WHORE OF A WIFE IS AWAY BUYING ME THE LATEST POKÉMON SCARLET & VIOLET ALBUM BY TOBY FOX THAT JUST CAME OUT
>THIS IS EVERYTHING, I CAN'T IMAGINE HOW AMAZING IT WILL BE TO CLIMB UP TYRONES DINGUS AND GET TO WORSHIP TYRONES BBC FROM THE INSIDE?
>OH MY ZACIAN & ZAMAZENTA THIS IS JUST LIKE SONIA GETTING BLACKED WITH BACKGROUND SONG THE POKÉMON SWORD & SHIELD OST - WYNDON
>HEY TYRONE IS THIS AN ANCIENT YASHMALIAN RITUAL FROM THE BILLION YEAR OLD BLACK SPACEFARING CIVILIZATION WHICH WAS DESTROYED BY A RACE OF WH*TE CLONES CREATED BY THE SCIENTIST MAGICIAN YAKUB?
>I NEED TO RESPECT TYRONES CULTURE!!
>I HOPE THAT WHEN ALL WH*TE PEOPLE ARE KILLED THAT THE MOST DESERVING OF US BIPOC ALLIES GET TO EXPERIENCE URETHRAL VORING!
>OH MY HECKIN WONDERS OF SCIENCE TYRONE IT FEELS SO GOOD INSIDE YOUR URETHRA WHILE YOU ARE FUCKING MY INCEL WHORE CHUD WIFE BUT IT'S BETTER HAVING THIS DINGUS TO MYSELF!
>NOW TO LISTEN TO TOBY FOX'S GLORIOUS RENDITION OF THE GEN 8 OST ON THE IPOD NANO I TOOK WITH ME
>W-WAIT A MINUTE THIS IS pokémon black and wh*te ost - summer in lacunosa AAAARRRGGGHHHHH TYRONE YOU FUCKING NIGGER GET ME THE FRICK OUT HERE RIGHT NOW. I NOW IMAGINE HILDA GETTING FUCKED BY CHUD HI*BERT INSTEAD OF BY BLACK MAN WITH BBC
>WAIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? STOP DRINKING THAT MONSTER ENERGY ULTRA WHITE YOU FUCKING BABOON NIGGER YOU'LL HAVE KIDNEY STONES
>AAAGGHH AGHHHH FUUUCK HERE THEY COME AAAGGHHHH RIGHT IN MY EYE NOOOOO WHY ARE YOU HURTING YOURSELF JUST TO HURT ME YOU PIECE OF SHIT AAAAGHDHHDHDDJDHHFEINBBC

Wait, Did Nasu just BTFO all of /vp/'s old vs modern Pokémon game argument?

Did Nasu just BTFO all of /vp/'s old vs modern Pokémon argument?

>Explains how the issues in modern pokemon have existed forever
>Explains how it's the corporate Nintendo's fault and their shitty rules that the game is bad and not Gamefreak/Masuda/Ohmori
>Explains how the franchise always had bad designed mons, even in Gen 1 and that GF never adopted a new design philosophy
>Explains how the shift to 3D isnt the start of the downfall of Pokémon, but it just exacerbated and highlighted existing problems
>Explains how the games always had cut corners, even in 2D Pokémon and proves it by showing proof that the idle animation in gen 5 are just illusion of trad sprite animation
>Explains how GF has always recycled designs and gives concrete proof of it (the sprite of Anorith, Lairon)
>Explains how GF has never made the 3d Pokémon models
>Explains how replacing GF with another company wont change anything
>Explains how PBR ripped assets from Nintendo 64 models
>Explains how major battle (ie champions) never flopped and gives proof of it
>Explains how every Pokémon game weren't good at the first try and only got good in their third release
>Explains how Pokémon has always been shit
>Explains how no one knows when pokemon fell off and has always been ambiguous

Where is YOUR evidence to back up your ridiculous claims about your modern Pokémon games arguments? By all means, watch the whole video, I promise you that you can't debunk it.

>inb4 i get told to shut the fuck up by someone who hasn't watched the video and is triggered by these FACTS
>inb4 someone calls me a gamefreak shill
>inb4 someone calls me a zoomer
>inb4 someone uses anecdotal evidence
>inb4 someone says that im wrong
>inb4 someone calls me a cuck
>inb4 someone says "ywnbaw"
>inb4 "muh slide thread"
>inb4 "sage" because /vp/tard is triggered by a different opinion

i'm open to having my mind changed. but only with reliable sources that explain why Pokémon games look like what it is now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A7sRX53_LA

/vp/ reddit moment

no one:
literally no one:
not even big chungus:
random unovabortion on 4channel: gEn 5 bEsT gEn
[everyone disliked that]
Red: wait that's illegal
Leaf: ok that was lowkey on point
Gary: *slaps roof of car* gramps did i ever tell you about the time i had a gay honeymoon with red in alola? it was an epic moment.
oak: *is retarded*
Team Rocket: Giovanni?
Hilda:Now watch me whip, now watch me nae nae.
N: hey don't google muk's name spelled backwards
[Hilbert googles muk spelled backwards]
Looker: congratulations you just got yourself caught!
Lucas: *flies past on a Staraptor* ooooh i dont care what region you're from that's GOTTA HURT
[everyone laughed]
Brendan: you're breathtaking!
magma grunts:i bet i can take the mc
brendan: you sure about that
brendan: *kills all team magma grunts*
team magma:wait thats illegal
[Everyone liked that]
Team Aqua: am I a joke to you?
Unova incels: there's no way pokemon can be good after gen 5....
3Dchads: hold my beer
*ILCA joined the chat*
*Hiroyuki Tani has left the chat*
/vp/enis: 'Yeah, I'm thinking this is kind of epic based pilled, maybe a bit of a coom moment?? Idk think I might post a politoed pepe

gen 2 was a mistake

>most forgettable starters
>Johto gym leaders don't use Johto pokemon
>too many Johtomons locked behind Kanto
>besides a few mons, the most competitively unviable of all gens
>most available Johtomons have unappealing stats/learnsets even for a normal playthrough
>awful wild Pokémon distribution
>useless babymons to pad dex count
>pathetic level curve
>strongest wild encounter is mid lv 30
>encountering lv 3-5s on your way to the 16th badge
>gym leaders/champ need hacked mons
>uninspired, linear map
>only 4 branching paths in the Johto map, the fewest of all games
>edgy fanfic-tier rival
>routes are decorated hallways, only one route has a reason to revisit
>cringe-tier Team Rocket plot
>killed pokemania
>gamefreak acknowledges that Gen 2 was the final cash in on the early craze
>left Tajiri in a state of depression
>created Kanto pandering
>worst selling 3rd version in history
>by far the most insecure and schizophrenic fanbase here
>put quantity over quality to satiate toddlers at the time
>doesn't make use of the GBC's full color pallet
>needed Kanto to keep genwunners buying in
>half of the game is an afterthought to Gen 1
>other half of the game is copy-pasted gutted down Gen 1
>neutered Mt. Moon
>neutered Rock Tunnel
>removed Cerulean Cave
>removed Silph
>removed Pokémon Tower
>removed Kanto legendaries
>neutered Victory Road
>removed Seafoam Islands
>removed Power Plant
>neutered Viridian Forest
>neutered Cinnabar
>removed underground paths
>removed old Rocket hideout
>one of the games only exists to shill a movie
>only appeal is revisiting Gen 1
>failed its only appeal by neutering it which left genwunners disappointed
>poor implementations of new features
>completely invalidated by the remakes
>shallow attempt at open world
>only praise is buzzwords parroted by schizos that missed out on Gen 1

Just stop, Johturd. You're nothing more than a cancerous tumor attaching itself to West Kanto and Gen 1.

Platinum is the worst game in the series and here's why

Can you debunk this image without resorting to conspiratorial bullshit about discord, soijakers, and yawnfag? Can you argue in good faith, /vp/?

First off, the Pokémon distribution is horseshit. You would think the main point of a Pokémon game would be to make finding Pokémon enjoyable, but it doesn't. It constantly spams the same repetitive Geodude/Zubat/Machop/Psyduck/Ponyta/Onix/Bidoof/Starly encounters throughout the fucking game. Gen 1 only has 151 Pokémon and even it was significantly smarter with how it distributes Pokémon than Platinum. How come in Gen 1 I can only find Geodude in caves, but in Platinum it's spammed even in the fucking tall grass? Why am I continuing to see Machoke on a snowy mountain for no reason instead of Ice-types? Why is Mount Coronet padded out to be 8 floors long, yet all of them have virtually the same encounters? Could they think of zero other Pokémon out of the 250+ Pokémon they didn't use to fill the game with? The funniest example of this is Route 207, the entire route is literally NOTHING but Kanto Pokémon except for Kricketot, which was already commonly available in the first FIVE routes of the game, and even then it only shows up in the morning and at night. Why does the Great Marsh have an awful daily rotation gimmick when the distribution of Pokémon is already so barebones? Kanto already did this idea 10 years earlier but actually executed it well, why is it WORSE now? Why is there a Honey Tree gimmick that forces me to wait hours for an encounter, just to make the most common encounter WURMPLE? Johto did the "find Pokémon in trees" idea 7 years earlier but actually executed it well, why is it WORSE now? Why are water routes still filled with Wingull and Tentacool even though the franchise has a fuckton of Water-types now? Why is there an area called IRON ISLAND, yet it has virtually no Steel-types except Onix's evolution? Why not make Aron or Mawile or even Beldum available? Why is anything more interesting locked to retarded post-game gimmicks for no reason? Is it to get people to mindlessly praise the game for having post-game? (1/5)

Adding onto this point, even outside of the dogshit encounter design, the map design itself is fucking awful. Kanto had simplistic routes, but the game was still exciting because of the non-linearity of the whole game and the interesting puzzles in the more complex indoor maps. Hoenn was more linear, but the game was still exciting because many of the maps have completely unique gimmicks and puzzles. Platinum is the worst of both worlds. It's even more linear than Hoenn, yet the route design is incredibly simplistic, having virtually no puzzles even in the indoor areas, and practically all the maps have no gameplay except "click A in front of HM obstacle". The region is themed around snow and ice yet the only ice based p uzzle in the ENTIRE game is the small one in Regigigas' temple, which isn't even relevant unless you bought RSE. Again, Mount Coronet is eight floors, why do NONE of those floors have any engaging puzzles or any gameplay outside of walking and clicking A in front of boulders? Gen 1 already did this correctly with the Seafoam Islands, by having a unique multifloored puzzle, by filling it with unique encounters so you don't feel the need to constantly spam Repels, and not pointlessly padding it out with empty floors with no gameplay except walking. The maps are far too reliant on HMs only for none of the HMs to be engaging to use. Dive, which added another layer of exploration in the previous generation which led to completely unique maps with new Pokémon, is replaced with Defog, which is just Flash but more obnoxious by causing battles to slow down even harder if you don't use it, THEN THEY KEPT FLASH IN THE GAME ANYWAY, resulting in the game effectively having N I N E HMs. And they do virtually nothing interesting with these HMs the entire game. (2/5)

Cut, Waterfall, Rock Climb, and Rock Smash are all just "click A to pass thing in front of you" and they removed Rock Smash's mechanic where it will sometimes spawn rare Pokémon, which they used in Gen 3 for Nosepass, so the move is even more pointless. The game spams Strength boulders yet there isn't a single actual Strength puzzle in the game. RBY, GSC, RSE, BW2, and XY all managed to have at least one decent boulder puzzle in the game. Why doesn't Platinum? Instead of puzzles, the HMs are entirely used for railroading and backtracking to find underwhelming items, such as vitamins, that the player never really actually needs thanks to the game's toddler level of difficulty.

The hilarious part is, they put all these HMs in the game for railroading purposes, yet they STILL lazily have a tons of NPC roadblocks in the game. Mount Coronet alone has at least three different NPC roadblocks over the course of the game (Team Galactic Grunt blocking the northern path to Snowpoint City; Team Galactic Grunt blocking the shortcut that leads to Celestic Town; the fucking painting that blocks you instantly after the Rock Climb roadblock on the first floor) and there are the news reporters who block you from going to Pastoria City early (this wasn't even in the original DP, they made Platinum MORE linear for no fucking reason), then there's the Sunyshore City NPC who blocks you because of a power outage. Eight (effectively nine) HMs and they still couldn't figure out how to design the fucking game without obnoxiously spamming NPCs blocking you. Meanwhile Gen 1 only has FIVE HMs yet there are effectively only three generic NPC roadblocks in the whole game. (3/5)

I've already alluded to this earlier, but the difficulty is also nonexistent until the post-game. The entire campaign can be cheesed by spamming STABs with a single Pokémon. Which the game only encourages you to do thanks to the lack of a party EXP Share system like most other RPGs, the dogshit Pokémon distribution which makes it difficult to even find appealing Pokemon to use, and the HMs which encourage players to dump all the mandatory moves onto junk Pokémon. None of the NPCs have any EVs and Revives and X items are trivially easy to obtain, so even if you were to be underleveled the game is still trivially easy. Then you DO get to the post-game, where you finally have access to the battle facilities that can actually provide a challenge. The problem is even the facilities are all worse and made easier compared to Emerald. All the facilities only require a streak of 50 to beat, yet the first 21 battles will be three streaks of NPCs throwing trivially easy NFE Pokémon at you, so they effectively only require 30 battles to beat. In Emerald the Battle Tower requires a streak of 70 to fully beat. The gimmicks of the battle facilities themselves, except for the Battle Factory, also heavily favor the player. The Battle Castle and Battle Arcade are both virtually the same thing as the Battle Tower except with gimmicks that only make it easier for the player in the majority of circumstances, by allowing the player advantageous tools before the battle even starts.

Oh, yeah, and the story in this game is also horseshit. Almost every character acts like a retard. Team Galactic is retarded and steals Pokemon like Clefairy for no reason when they could just waltz into Mount Coronet and catch as many as they want legally while staying covert. Looker acts like a retard and does nothing about Team Galactic the whole fucking game despite them being KNOWN criminals. (4/5)

Outside of the story being trash, the difficulty being trash, and the level design being trash, the game as a whole is poorly polished. The battles are slow, with HP bars taking pointlessly long to animate, it takes longer to save every single time you even just open the PC boxes, even scrolling through the BAG is slow and incredibly tedious because the game has trouble loading the sprites for the items (if you press Select and sort the items the bag suddenly scrolls much faster because it isn't loading the sprites LMAO). The encounter rate is far too high for how shitty and pointless the encounters are, and you still have to hold fucking B to run for some reason. To top off the turd of this game, Game Freak couldn't even implement matchmaking in online PvP. You need either friend codes or a Wii and PBR if you want to use the basic fucking feature of battling people online. Metroid Prime: Hunters and Mario Kart DS both had online random matchmaking and they both came out years before Platinum. There's no excuse except for Game Freak either rushing this game or them wanting to scam people into buying PBR.

Platinum is dogshit and has no redeemable qualities compared to Pokémon games before and after it (yes, even the 3DS and Switch games, you fucking retarded Redditors). It's praised because of inconsistent standards and nostalgia, not because of its objective quality. (5/5)

I, SISSYnthia, jobber of Sinnoh, humbly KNEEL to:

I SISSYnthia, jobber of Sinnoh, humbly KNEEL to:

>Satoshi-sama, Alola champion and my master.

>Iris-sama, my one and only true love and other master.

>Lance-sama, who I shall never become stronger than.

>Diantha-sama, who I'm too afraid to fight.

>Dracovish-sama, who easily manhandled me with Strong Jaw.

>Sirfetch'd-sama, who anally raped me and first awakened my wish to become an analslut sissy.

>Pikachu-sama, who was so strong that I was forced to use a cheap bitch move to defeat.

>Lucario-sama, who beat the shit out of me so hard I started being attracted to dogs almost as much as I am attracted to children.

>Haxorus-sama, whose incomparably forceful Outrage crushed my Garchomp's ass-womb entirely to the point she couldn't bear Lucario's children anymore.

>Leon-sama, whose power I am scared of (I hope he doesn't kill my beloved master, as I am too scared to help him...).

>Tobias-dono, for he will viciously fuck me up with his 12-inch mythical cock as punishment for losing.

gen 5 started

The East has fallen. Billions will buy it anyway.

gen 5 started gym leaders having only 3 pokemon at most
gen 5 started the elite four having only 4 pokemon
gen 5 started rivals handing you constant free healing items
gen 5 started free lucky egg
gen 5 started putting a chansey expy in every route
gen 5 started doctors in every dungeon area
gen 5 started making the region a straight path to prevent people from not knowing how to progress
gen 5 started npcs explaining mechanics to you even when you tell them not to explain mechanics to you
gen 5 started westerners making ugly pokemon
gen 5 started poison not damaging you in the overworld anymore
gen 5 started the removal of content we'd never see in any future game like safari zone, game corner, battle frontier, and more
gen 5 started giving you a gift pokemon specifically to deal with a type disadvantage against the gym leader
gen 5 started making strength boulders 2x2 tiles to make puzzles with them non-existent
gen 5 started adding niggers
gen 5 started making the region a foreign theme park gimmick region

BW2 was a mistake

BW2 is poorly made because it has no difficulty and virtually no meaningful interaction during the campaign, and the postgame is gutted for lazily implemented nostalgia wank and reused maps with zero replayability.

All the Trainers and Gym Leaders use Pokémon with 0 EVs so they're extremely easy to sweep with a single overleveled Pokémon. Unlike previous (and newer) games, the Gym Leaders only use three Pokémon, often with unoptimal movesets, and the Elite Four only use four Pokémon. The EXP balancing is such that overleveling even multiple Pokemon is extraordinarily easy and the game never gives you a real reason to use more than one Pokémon due to said overleveling rendering the other's games mechanics such as type matchups completely redundant, on top of the fact that there's no party wide EXP Share, meaning the game actually punishes you for training multiple Pokémon since you are just splitting EXP for no benefit when you could just be min/maxing it to one Pokémon instead. The game then gives you a Lucky Egg literally for free during the story, despite it being extremely difficult to obtain in earlier games for balancing reasons, further breaking the game's difficulty so it's even more of a joke. The Challenge Mode, which is not only virtually impossible to use without hacking thanks to its obtuse requirement of having to connect with someone else who already beat a specific version of the game to transfer you a key (you can't even beat the game yourself and restart the save file since restarting your save file ALSO deletes the key...), isn't even programmed correctly, with enemy opponents having the stats of their original levels, resulting in getting even MORE inflated EXP while fighting opponents that are equally as easy, making the game even easier than if you didn't use Challenge Mode. (1/5)

Every remotely long area has at least one doctor NPC who will heal your Pokémon completely for free. So actually losing in this game is virtually impossible without handicapping yourself.

The game has an absurd number of tutorials and roadblocks, such that the campaign involves virtually no gameplay outside of mashing through text and going where NPCs want you to go. The game has no respect for the players intelligence; unlike Gen 1, 2, 8, and 9, the catching tutorial and Pokemon Center tutorials are forced. Dialogue options that seemingly give you the choice to skip explanations give you the explanation anyway even if you select the negative option (e.g. Mr. Medal's explanation on medals). After Virbank Gym you're led around and forced to do a tutorial for a side mode that has virtually nothing to do with the entire rest of the game, and in of itself isn't even engaging because it consists of "select the obvious correct option to progress the script", so it's just more mashing through meaningless shit.

Afterward, you can finally get to Castelia City. This is where you can tell the developers started putting noticeably less effort into the game and its holes as a rehash start to show. The map is almost entirely the same as BW1, and there are NPCs with nonsensically copy/pasted dialogue from BW1. The rest of the game is like this the last two gyms. The north is unsurprisingly roadblocked. The east entrance is also roadblocked for no real reason except to trick people into thinking the game is great for having a padded post-game instead of giving the player any agency (want to start breeding your Pokémon early? Fuck you). So the only choice is to go is the new area, the sewer. However, since the game doesn't respect the player's intelligence, there's a worker blocking it until you talk to Iris to specifically lead you there. (2/5)

Once you get to the Sewer there are more roadblocks and you can't fully explore it until you backtrack without your rival following and constantly healing you. After Castelia City and Route 4 there's yet another forced tutorial for the Join Avenue, which is basically just a tool to grind out items (some of which are inferior to other games, such as the Berry Shop, when in Gen 3-4 and 6-7 you can simply farm them for free). The catch is that it requires communicating with other players to fill up. So if you have no one to play with you're SOL and this area is completely useless. Nimbasa City and Route 5/16 play pretty much the same as BW1. Both bridges are roadblocked until the game wants you to access them and the forced Pokémon Musical tutorial is replaced with a forced Pokémon Grotto tutorial.

At Driftveil City there are three (!) roadblocks, one for Clay Tunnel, one for the PWT, and one in Chargestone Cave. So like usual you're forced mash through the order the game forces you to do things. The rest of the game progresses the same way. Go through route, reach town, do the one thing the game actually lets you do, rinse and repeat. One hilarious thing that the game changes from BW1 is how you encounter the Swords of Justice. Instead of being hidden away in different areas of the game, they instead just stand there in the middle of routes for the player to easily encounter with zero effort during the story. (3/5)

Rather than a Battle Frontier like the previous upper versions, they decided to add the Pokémon World Tournament, which is a complete downgrade gameplay wise, deciding to trade the streak based systems of the previous battle facilities with a simple tournament bracket which only requires three wins. This completely trivializes the difficulty to the point where even an unoptimized campaign team can easily clear it and kills the point of even bothering to play it rather than just going to PvP. The main appeal of this mode appears to be the spectacle of seeing all the previous characters magically (and nonsensically) show up in this brand new facility in this remote region. If you like to clap at dangling keys rather than have engaging, challenging gameplay, you might enjoy this. An additional battle facility they added was the Black Tower/White Treehollow. This is effectively a clone of the Battle Pyramid from Emerald, except with the key difference that you can use your full campaign team with levels not scaled, and you gain EXP like normal. Meaning, like the rest of the campaign, you can easily sweep through it with your overleveled team like usual, and the difficulty and replayability of it is gutted as a result.

The rest of the postgame effectively just involves walking through old reused BW1 maps that have new Trainers on them while easily sweeping through them and further overleveling your Pokémon. Nothing about it is engaging and you never have a reason to revisit the maps again since there's no repeatable content. (4/5)

Outside of the gameplay itself, the rest of the game is poorly polished. The sprites are animated horribly with robotic tweening rather than being redrawn manually by hand, resulting in the sprites being broken and distorted every time they move. The back sprites are inconsistently scaled and are zoomed by *2 like Gen 1, making them look horribly pixelated and low resolution compared to the DS's screen. The Pokemon are locked in their single idle animation so all the move animations are lazily stapled onto the Pokémon. If you want to see Charizard using Flamethrower out of its shoulder, maybe you'll like the animations.

The bottom screen is the same as BW1, the C-Gear, which is effectively useless the entire game since it displays no useful information. This is far cry from useful bottom screens that had various tools such as DPPt's Poketch which had various apps, HGSS's bottom screen which allowed you to easily access registered items or run automatically (which was nonsensically removed) or XY's bottom screen which allows you to track your team's stats and see everyone around you online or locally. The game lacks the QoL additions from newer games, such as Destiny Knot breeding, Ability Capsules, Ability Patches, Bottle Caps, and Mints, so training Pokémon for online play is frustrating and tedious.

The music is decent but they made the stupid choice to replace it with a badly done low HP beeping remix whenever your Pokémon happens to drop to low HP, which completely ruins the atmosphere of the battle.

If you don't care about a game with well-crafted gameplay, and instead want to gawk at all the returning characters and the number of maps the game decided to pointlessly lock to after the credits, then you'll think this game is good. (5/5)

timetravelfags BTFO

timetravel fags have no explanation for
>why the writers felt the need to make occulture a dubious tabloid magazine and have the opposite version paradoxmon appear in it if they’re supposedly real creatures
>why no fossils are found in Area Zero
>why did the time machine not bring back fossil pokemon we already know like rampardos or kabuto or some dinosaur pokemon we’ve never heard of before
>why did the time machine both future/past exclusively bring back pokemon that are based on modern day creatures
>how did heath see paradox pokemon back in the past in Violet
>why did the writers make Arven point out this inconsistency which is obvious foreshadowing
>why does sandy shocks have screws, why is scream tail a billion years old, why is brute bonnet with a pokeball design, why are paradox beasts a thing because of burned tower
>why do you accept the fact evolution means all prehistoric pokemon look very similar to the modern day even though fossil pokemon exist which means pokeworld is a lot like real life and we don’t have unga-bunga golden retriver fossils
>why do you accept the fact evolution means all animals will turn into robots one day are you stupid?
>why is every explanation we get trying to answer all this require many degrees of mental gymnastics if you accept time travel as fact?

Average Pokémon Black enjoyer

>OH MY FUCKING SCIENCE CHAD IS THAT YOU?!??!??!?
>LONG TIME NO SEE FRIENDERINO I'M SO GLAD TO MEET YOU AGAIN
>REMEMBER THAT TIME IN HIGH SCHOOL WHEN I WAS PLAYING POKEMON BLACK (GEN 5 BEST GEN BTW) AND AFTERWARDS YOU CLAPPED MY CHEEKS AT THE GYM SHOWERS??? GOOD TIMES LMAO. AT FIRST I DIDN'T CONSENT AND I CRIED AND SCREAMED AND TRIED TO FIGHT BACK BUT I EVENTUALLY SUCCUMBED TO YOUR POUNDING. MY ASS BLED SO MUCH WHEN YOU TOOK MY ANAL VIRGINITY BUT IT FELT SOOOOOOO GOOD.

>EVER SINCE THAT EVENT I'VE BEEN CROSSDRESSING LIKE A PRETTY LITTLE SCHOOLGIRL AND TRIED TO IMPRESS YOU WHILE PLAYING POKEMON BLACK 2 BUT YOU'VE ALWAYS IGNORED ME. I JUST WANTED TO BE THE GIRLY SISSY SLUT WHO SUBMITS TO YOUR DEMANDS AND DOES EVERYTHING THAT YOU'D ORDER ME TO DO.

>WELL I'M MARRIED NOW WITH TWO STEP-CHILDREN AND I WOULD LIKE YOU TO BECOME MY WIFE'S BOYFRIEND & BULL. PLEASE ACCEPT THE OFFER, I IMPLORE YOU. MY WIFE NEEDS A GOOD FUCKING FROM AN ALPHA CHAD BULL WHILE I WATCH, MASTURBATE, CRY, REPLAY POKEMON BLACK AND CONTEMPLATE ABOUT MY LIFE CHOICES IN THE CORNER LIKE A PATHETIC SÖY CUĆK FAGGOT AS YOU RAM MY WIFE WITH YOUR MASSIVE JUICY WET HARD COCK AND IMPREGNATE HER WITH YOUR DELICIOUS FERTILE SEMEN.

Thank You Game Freak

Memories. Getting a first poke man. Wonder of exploring a whole world poke man. Beauty of your poke man being sent from Game Boy to DS. From DS to 3DS. From #DS nintendo Switch. This was how child hood went, and it is so touching that as a adult I still enjoy the many wonder. Greatness Galar, cool poke girls, greatness experiences Blue Indigo. And we get collection permanent and easy transferrings in HOME. To every passionate fan Game Freak has granted a wonder. . . . But still it is too many disrespect, art appreciation found when motivate ungrateful criticismizing by the community but not found in respect.

This thread I want to give much thankings appreciations Game Freak, #thankyougamefreak because you built child hood. I am very artistic of a man because game freak inspires. Stupids in social media like you tobe 4chan reddit facebook x point out little thing rather than in take exceptional art Game Freak make. Emerald had only fraction of scarlet and violet poke man and worst animating, but can no take science advancement account in review when compare scarlet violet. I put #thankyougamefreak to counters e trolls fake fans.

Bait image gallery

Feel free to add images that are good for trolling besides the usual 'jak gems.

"Overtuned Smogonshit Teams"

These are best used to bait manchildren who can't tolerate opposing pokemon with movesets that aren't shit, and whine whenever they're forced to actually use more tools at their disposal than an overleveled starter.

Closing remarks

Remember that /vp/ has their eyes on this page, and the fact that it exists makes them big mad. You are not on le heckin deep weberino, and anyone with an Internet connection can look at the funny bald man with glasses 'iki.

Remember not to edit this page from an IP, or they will try to faildox and failkill you (in Cobblemon).

Be creative. Be insidious. Never let them know your next move, regularly change your trolling methods, and always stay two steps ahead.


See also

Citations

Vp trolling tactics is part of a series on
Trolling and Raids
Operations [-+]
Targets [-+]
Techniques [-+]
Types of raids [-+]
Trolling groups [-+]

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