Thrembometer

Thrembometer (inactivated)

A thrembometer is a precision instrument and measuring device that is used to assess the thrembosity of an object. Superficially, a thrembometer may resemble a Markiplier Soyjak; however, this is just a coincidence.

Thrembometers are harmless.

History

The first time a 4chan poster mentioned thrembometers was on /qa/ on October 11th, 2021 in a post in which he categorically dismissed their existence. In actuality, thrembometers have existed since ancient times.

Leaked documents indicate that thrembometers played a key role in the sequencing of Die Sohjabonen during World War II.

Description and purpose

A thrembometer consists of an elongated face-like frame that is curved at the sides by two weights (which may Superficially resemble "ears"), an antenna that is attached at the dome and which changes in colour, and two eye-like slits which do the same. The lower half of a thrembometer's visage is occupied by a yellow grid which is actually just a cheese grater attached for convience and is not strictly part of the device itself.

When activated, thrembometers produce oscillations similar to that of a metronome.. Leading thrembologists theorise that the amplitude and speed of these oscillations are determined by the device's reaction to an otherwise undetectable property of objects, henceforth referred to as the thrembosity of an object.

As of yet, the only thrembometer models confirmed to exist are the Thrembometer 4000-CH and the Thrembometer Lite; however, several other unidentified models have been rumoured. The main body of the Thrembometer 4000-CH has a dial, a wave graph display, and a legal notice reading "do not disassemble". The numbers near the axis of the main body's rotation range from 1 to 9, including Ϫ. The lite model doesn't have the dial and the face resembling Markiplier with all of it's features, except for the antenna. Instead of the eyes, this thrembometer is decorated with dots that serve the same purpose. Unlike the 4000-CH, the Lite model can't precisely measure the thrembosity of an object, but only if it's thrembo or it's not. It might also have Artificial intelligence capabilities added. While it lacks many of the features of the 4000-CH, that makes it lighter, smaller, portable and cheaper. It will also look more stylish than the main body of the 4000-CH, though the upper parts of the latter make it better and more beautiful than the former. The AI technologies might be also prove very useful. It isn't out yet, it's set to release next yer.

In popular culture

A picture of an inactivated thrembometer was featured as the Dailyjak for October 14, 2021. Thrembologists have welcomed this publicity.